Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Taiwan Might Be Home If...

Taiwan Might Be Home If...

...you consider red bean soup a delicious and perfectly acceptable dessert.
...you can identify bok choy, edamame, and kohlrabi.
...you can distinctly pronounce "shuìjiào" (sleep) and "shuǐjiǎo" (dumplings).
...you're at the movie theater and check the Chinese subtitles to see if you heard that line correctly.
...your favorite fruits include passionfruit and guava.
...you always open Facebook and Google Translate simultaneously.
...you know the names of the people who sell you vegetables.
...you don't hesitate to answer when someone asks you how much you pay for rent.
...you aren't surprised when random strangers take pictures of your child.
...you put on your winter coat when the temperature drops below 50 degrees Fahrenheit.
...you're used to the sound of the Buddhist television channel blaring 24/7 in the apartment next door.
...you don't own a car, and don't really miss having one.
...you consider any apartment that has more than two rooms to be huge.
...you think Hong Kong is synonymous with "visa run."
...you find your boss sleeping, head-on-desk, every day after your lunch break.
...you know the chorus of at least one Chinese song when you sing karaoke with your friends.
...you taste the difference between oolong, jasmine, green, and black tea.
...you aren't grossed out by raw meat, whether it's hanging at the market or on your plate in a restaurant.
...your washing machine is located in your bathroom...in your shower.
...your oven is smaller than a microwave.
...you hang your clothes to dry in your living room all winter, because that's where the dehumidifier is.
...you're not sure how you'd pay your bills without 7-11.
...you can walk pretty much everywhere you need to go in less than an hour.
...your rice cooker is an essential kitchen appliance.
...you've set a limit on how many bubble teas you may consume per week.
...you eat 50% less meat than you used to, and 50% more vegetables.
...you never drink cold water anymore.
...you have a Chinese name, or at least a Chinese-sounding version of your English name.
...your local friends' children go to bed later than you do.
...you don't find it strange that the garbage truck sounds like an ice cream truck.
...you pay less for your child's doctor's appointment without health insurance than your co-pay would be in America.
...you really want to learn how to play mah-jong.
...you can only fit three days' worth of food in your refrigerator at one time.
...you inadvertently speak Chinglish: "How cool!"  "Give you." "You said what?"
...your toilet paper doesn't come on a roll.
...you use the towering silhouette of Taipei 101 to find your way when lost.
...you think tofu could be its own food group.
...you keep a pair of plastic shoes in your bathroom to avoid treading on the perpetually wet floor.
...you are seriously considering purchasing a scooter.
...you frequently peek inside passerby's strollers and are shocked to see a dog instead of a baby.
...your rain boots are your most well-worn pair of shoes.
...you've tried acupuncture to treat a sore muscle.
...you ask your mom to bring cheese when she comes to visit.
...you consider paying more than $10 for a restaurant meal exorbitant.
...you walk past at least one bustling temple every day.
...your friends back in America still think you live in Thailand.

1 comment:

  1. So funny! Yes to all of them! Except I bust out the winter coats when temps go below 70.