Being a mom is the best job I've ever had--the most fun, the most rewarding, the most challenging, the most sanctifying. I'm only five months into my parenting journey, and have been blessed to learn from the wisdom of family and friends, a couple of helpful books, and my own trial-and-error. Here are a few practical things I've learned that I wish I'd known before I had a baby.
1. "Start as you mean to go on."
Choose a plan and stick to it. Don't fall into "accidental parenting." In other words, don't do something just because it's convenient. For example, if you plan on co-sleeping, great! It can help you get some extra sleep, especially in those early weeks. But, if you don't want to co-sleep with a 6-month-old, 12-month-old or 4-year-old, then don't take your baby into your bed just because it's 3 am and you're exhausted. The things you do with your baby set her expectations for what she thinks life
ought to be like. Make sure you start doing things the way you want them to continue.
2. Use common sense; don't always go to the internet for answers.
"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20). These days there are zillions of "mom advice" websites that
anyone can post on. You have no idea if happymomma73 is a wise counselor or a fool since you can't see her interact with her kids or know the result of her advice in her own children's lives. Also, she doesn't know your unique child. Stop, think, and pray. You know your baby better than anyone. Usually you can figure out what your baby needs using common sense. If that fails you, try calling a person you trust (like your mom or an experienced friend) before turning to Google. This will save you time and anxiety.
3. Expect nursing to be a challenge.
No one really talks about this before you give birth, but nursing does
not always come naturally. It is not emotionally or physically pain-free. It really hurts for the first week or so (I was in tears), and your baby might have trouble getting the hang of it too. Sleep-deprivation and raging mama-hormones can make this really stressful, especially if you expected a warm and cuddly experience. Expect it to be a challenge. Don't freak out or give up when it's hard. Call someone (in addition to your husband) for support. Read a book about nursing
before giving birth so you know how to troubleshoot common problems before they sneak up and attack you at 4 in the morning.
4. Plan for a long recovery.
Every woman's body recovers differently after giving birth. I had a friend who hiked up a mountain when her baby was only one week old! This led to some shock when I couldn't go for a twenty-minute walk until six weeks post-partum. You might not recover right away but you
will recover eventually. In the meantime, rest as much as you can, eat lots of healthy foods, and don't rush back into your normal activities too soon.
5. Consider laundry like breathing.
You must do laundry (nearly) constantly to survive, but it's no big deal. Make it part of your daily rhythm.
6. Develop a flexible routine for your baby.
Babies thrive on routine. It helps your baby feel secure (and helps you know why she might be fussy). Set a simple sequence of events that you repeat throughout each day. For example: eat (30 min), play (30--45 min), sleep (1.5--2 hrs), repeat. Watch your baby closely for hungry/tired cues and use the clock only as a guide. And if you think your baby is having a growth spurt, teething, sick, etc., hide all your clocks in the closet and just go with the flow for a few days.
7. Be watchful for signs of overstimulation.
Babies are easily overtired, because their little brains are working so hard all the time! Including time spent eating, most 6-week-olds can only stay awake 45 minutes at a time. Not realizing this, I attempted to maintain my pre-baby activity level (which meant being away from home most of the day) and felt confused when Keira would only take 45-minute naps and was inconsolable come bedtime. Little babies can't handle so many outings, so you need to adjust your schedule (and maybe start some new hobbies you can do at home). By three months most babies can stay awake for 1-1.5 hours, and by six months they can do 2 hours at a stretch.
8. Stay in the moment and keep your perspective.
Enjoy your baby. Marvel at the way she is growing. Cuddle her as much as you want. Do silly things to make her smile. Sing to her. Pray for her. Kiss the top of her head. When crazy things happen--your shirt is suddenly soaked with milk, you fail to get a diaper under her in time, you get spit up on for the seventh time and it's not even noon--
laugh. Accept your baby (and the loving sacrifice she requires) as a blessing.
Motherhood is one of those adventures that requires us to learn-as-we-go. Thankfully we're not alone and can glean wisdom from all the mothers who have gone before us.
Moms, what would you add to this list?
